Friday, March 20, 2015

A Birth Story.

Finley Isabel,

My sweet, beautiful Finley. Your birth was perfect, your entrance into the world was peaceful and calm and so right.
When we found out you were in my belly, we were beyond thrilled. Baby Brittingham was coming and joining our sweet Reagan. we found out the end of May, and had to keep a big secret for awhile. I was really sick morning , noon and night with you, which is a great sign of a healthy pregnancy. But in June, I started to have some pain, some really bad cramping and intense "buckle over in pain" cramps. I called my doctor and they told me it was "normal" stretching of my belly. I went up to Seattle to see our family and things got worse, I was scared and away from home, and didn't know what to do. I called the doctor again and they told me that I might be loosing you. It was so hard and scary, but nothing they could we prayed.
Three days later I was on my way home in so much pain but you were still with us. By the next morning things were bad , Daddy took us to the ER because the doctor wanted to check if my appendix was okay and if you were still in my belly. As we waited in the Emergency room for what felt like days, we prayed.
As they hooked me up to monitors and machines, and took my blood to the lab, and pushed on my stomach and asked me millions of questions, they were skeptical of you. After ultrasounds later that night we saw you in my belly a perfect little baby the size of a blueberry. we couldn't hear your heart yet although it was beating, we knew you were there. They kept me in the hospital and began to prepare me for a possible appendectomy. They informed us that I had swelling and fluid in my abdomen and that they were 80% sure it was my appendix , but couldn't be 100% because they couldn't do a CAT scan due to being pregnant, so they were going in blind. They informed us that , if we did the surgery the chances of a little 8 week old baby would be not be good, that you might not make it through surgery in my belly, the doctors talked and discussed, and we prayed. 

They left us alone in the room and daddy turned on my favorite song and we prayed, we sang, we cried, we worshiped.
The doctors decided to wait to do surgery, I was in so much pain all night and at 2am I sobbed,, I needed medicine but couldn't have any, Daddy laid his hands on my belly and instantly my pain went away, my stomach stopped hurting. The doctors were shocked. BUT we were not.
You were meant to live!

 we found out that the sack that carried you in my belly had ruptured and that I needed to take some vitamins to keep you healthy and growing. The medicine made me super sick for the entire month of June and July. But you were alive, healthy and growing.  


At 34 weeks you tried to come, it was early, too early. They talked about sending us to a big hospital with a NICU to help you once you were born. We prayed.
The doctors kept us over night and monitored your heart and my contractions.

The next day they sent us home on bed rest for 2 weeks. It was a hard but sweet two weeks of being home with you kicking in my belly and your sister reading and playing with me. you stayed put until 39 weeks and 2 days!
It was Superbowl Sunday and I felt funny, I felt done being pregnant , and growing impatient to kiss your sweet cheeks. I went in and got checked during the superbowl thinking my water had broken, and even though the doctors said it didn't I truly believe it had started to leak. I came home and was in pain, and the contractions started. I was up most of the night, I took a shower and washed my hair (I needed to look good for when you came), but by 7 am the contractions faded out. I ran 2 miles on the treadmill and then we went to Aunt Cassi's house and while sitting in her house the contractions stated again, but this time they hurt, and they were close together. We made cookies, I breathed through contractions, I sat on the birthing ball and contracted, she asked if I was okay, I smiled and said yes, we ate lunch I was I pretending I wasn't in labor, she knew better!!!
Around 11:30 I was so uncomfortable I left, in the 10 min it took me to get home, I had three contractions that took my breath away. I decided to call your dad, who instantly asked if I had talked to my doctor. I was in denial. I said no, I had been having contractions for weeks this was not it.....DENIAL .
By 12:30 my contractions were 2-3 min apart and I was in pain and in rout to the hospital. Still thinking they were going to send me home because I was not in labor yet. we got there and they told me I was not far enough along, and had me walk the hallways.
we walked.....and walked. I made your dad do stairs with me, we did 15 sets of stairs, and lunges through the hallways, and yes people looked at us like we were crazy, but I was not going to be sent home.....
About 45 min later my contractions were 1 min apart and I could bearly make it back to the room. The nurse checked me and said I hand progressed but not enough, and my water hadn't broke (it did) and to wait for the doctor, and as she said that the doctor came in and saw 2 big contractions and said "you are staying and your water broke, you are in labor, lets have a baby" my heart was over joyed. YOU WERE COMING!!!!
We figured out you were facing the wrong way (Sunnyside up) ouch for back labor. your Nana and Dad laid hands on my belly and told you to flip, 30 min later on my hands and knees you flipped, we heard you on the monitor moving, it was amazing.
It was about 7pm you Auntie was on her way , nana went to the store and my contractions were getting worse, still about 1 min apart. I stood, I walked, I breathed through and fought through the pain, because you were coming. I just kept thinking this is happening so fast, I was in labor with Reagan for 2 days, but what if this takes 2 days, I cant keep this up.
you Auntie got there and rubbed my legs and they checked me I was at a 5 around 8:30ish,  I got into the bath tub to help ease the pain, I was in there for about 10 min and I felt the need to push. but I was not going to tell anyone because I wanted pain meds, I mean if I was only at a 5 I can not keep this up with out them, I asked for a shot of medicine, they had me get out of the tub and by the time I got back into bed I wanted an epidural, the pain was unbelievable, I had never had real contractions before (with Reagan I had Pitocin , to help start labor and never progressed and then got an epidural) this was intense.
By the time the anesthesiologist came I needed to push so bad, but again I said nothing ( I wanted the meds, one day you will understand )  , there is no way I was at a  10 It had only been about 50 mins since they said I was a 5!!! They gave me the meds and it didn't work, I could move and I was shaking and felt everything, the anesthesiologist told them to check because she knew I needed to push. we shared a secret smile, she knew and understood.
I was at a 10 and it was time.

A few details I remember at that moment I never want to forget, it was like time stood still for a few minutes for me to take it all in.

-your Auntie praying
-your daddy looking at me and smiling ,we high fived and kissed and then said "lets do this"
-your nana standing by my side
-taking a deep breath and knowing my life was about to change, that I was going to meet this beautiful little girl who fought in my belly to live, who God had protected and who has such a future ahead of her
-hearing that your mema was waiting for you outside

even now I tear up remembering those few things.

You came 15 min later, I watched you come, I helped you out , your nana and auntie and Dad all saw you , and your beautiful dark hair and big cheeks . You my dear were perfect.  you were what I dreamed about, a dark haired little girl, all 6 pounds 13 ounces of you.
The meds never took affect, but it didn't matter, you came out and as you laid on my chest with your pouty little lip and looked around the room, you whined and blew bubbles just like your sister did, you looked so much like her but so much like your own little person too. My heart doubled in size . The rest of the night went so fast, I couldn't wrap my  mind around the fact that you came, and fast, and we held you in the quite room after nana, mema and your auntie Noelle left, just me you and daddy, we took our time figuring out your name, our sweet girl, and we knew it was:

Finley- which means, Warrior
Isabel - pledged to God

                                                        the day I went into labor


      * My camera was having a hard time taking pictures, and the low lighting didn't help, but I am so grateful I have these, even if they are grainy I have my birth pictures. :)

I am head over heels in love with you Finley. I think every mom asks
"how can you love another baby like you love your first?!" and the answer is easy, your love doesn't fade for your first to make room for the new one, it grows, it double in size. you are so loveable and calm, and easy. you love to cuddle and be next to us . You love your sister already so much, if you hear her talking you find her in the room. you my baby are our perfect little gift.

I will love you forever!
"on the night you were born, the moon smiled with such wonder that the stars peeked in to see you, life will never be the same , because there has never been anyone like you, ever in the world."  -Nancy Tillman


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